Questions, answers, rants, smiles and sighs What is this post all about? I’m glad you asked. I’ve been talking, writing, e-mailing, texting and chatting up my friends, sisters, brothers, family, voices from the blogosphere and beyond about all the stuff I write about. I thought I’d take time out every now and then and answer some of the questions, concerns, quizzical looks, astonished stares and the many head scratches I’ve caused, so here goes.
What’s with all the eating? I’ve been asked why is it that in a lot of my posts I mention going to lunch or dinner and all the eating. The simple truth is I love to eat and I love spending time with friends and members of our trans* family and when the two are combined, it is so much more fun. Good conversation, good food, good people all add up to an enjoyable time had by all. That answer, however, leads into the next rant.
Why can’t I find clothes that fit? I know the first answer is the obvious one. My woman’s body is still a work in process I admit. The fact I haven’t met a steak and baked potato I didn’t love is another. I’m sure if I spent more time with veggies and exercise instead of spaghetti and meatballs, I’d spend less time in the plus size department. I found out on my doctor’s visit for HRT I had lost two inches in height since I was a sweet young thing. So at 5’3” tall, I also need petit and plus size. Why does the universe give me such challenges?
What has been the hardest part so far? Haters. I’ve experienced some hate; more than some, much less than others. People who don’t know me and never will, hate me. People who haven’t a clue as to my struggle and could care less, hate me. People who commit violence on us for not being what they consider ‘normal’ without ever getting to know us, hate me. That is the hardest part. Hearing from and about young trans* people who are homeless and have suffered horribly at the hands of their families pierces my heart. Family members, spouses, children who abandon us and cast us out breaks my heart. I was speaking with a dear friend recently and she asked, “Are you ready for all the hate you will receive?” The fact she had to ask and the look of real concern on her face made me sad. These are the hardest things I experience.
What has been the best part? The people I’ve talked to and heard from and the friendships I’ve made. These are the best parts. There are so many wonderful people out there just like me. Here we are, dealing with something we never asked for and for some of us has cause pain, suffering and death. Yet so many I meet and talk to have taken our gender issues and turned them into our gender assets. That’s the best part. You want to talk survivors? Talk to a trans* person. We wrote many of the chapters of the Survivors Guidebook.
Has anything been funny along the way? Maybe it’s just me, but I find a lot to laugh about in this whole thing. A lot of it is in the questions I’ve been asked and awkward compliments, mostly from cisgender folks. “Are you sure?” I got asked this question and recalled it when I was getting electrolysis. If I wasn’t sure, I’d never have another needle burn out a follicle again. “You wear panties?” I got asked this while I was standing there in a nice dress, heels, pantyhose and full makeup. What made her think I was wearing tighty-whities, I’ll never know. I’ll end with a ‘compliment’ from my son the first time he saw me dressed, “Well, it’s not as bad as I thought.”
That’s all for now So, that’s it for now. As I get more, I’ll interrupt the regularly scheduled stuff for a little more of this. Have a grand day everyone.