I thought this part would be so easy Back when I was in stealth mode, I used to dream about living my life honestly. I’d imagine my days and nights and I never once considered that the day-to-day, mundane part of living would be difficult. I’m not referring to the really hard part of coming out, telling my loved ones, legal changes in name and all the paperwork I’d need to fill out, not to mention the costs. Just the everyday stuff. Now that I’ve been doing it a while, here’s what I’m finding more difficult than I ever imagined.
Getting out the door in the morning I’ve always been one of those slow starters in the morning. I enjoy my coffee while reading the paper, take the dog for a walk and then get ready for work and start my commute. Forget that, girl friends! The mornings have become a barely contained scene of pure chaos. Running around, getting a sip of coffee, fixing my face, hair, grab shoes that match and clothes that don’t clash is a typical morning. Getting impatient at the dog while she sniffs 60,000+ blades of grass just to find the right one to tinkle on. Jumping in the car and desperately avoiding spilling coffee on my white blouse. Do you know how many people get upset when you sit through two traffic lights trying to put on mascara? There are a lot of cranky people out there.
Mascara and eye liner Applying mascara should be called “Putting your eye out with a pointed, fuzzy stick covered in tar”. I can be the steadiest, calmest person out there, but something happens when I remove the mascara stick from the tube. My hands start to shake, my eyelids blink incessantly and I lose the ability to focus. I need glasses to see, so the magnifying mirror I use distorts distances and I end up with a big glob of mascara in my eye or a large splotch of black stuff smeared from under my eye across my nose. Eyeliner I’ve just given up. I can’t get a smooth, straight line on the eyelid to save my soul. It looks so easy on the commercials and all of the YouTube videos on makeup I’ve watched. Can I do it? Not on your life. So much for the sexy Cat Eye, forget it!
Wide and petite I used to describe myself as vertically challenged. In my younger days, I stood a stately 5’5” tall. After so many trips around the sun, I find myself at 5’3 ½” tall. How the heck did I lose an inch and a half? That darn gravity. Besides being on the shorter side, I’m built “solid” as my mother used to say. I always thought I’d get to wear all of those great clothes in the catalogs and on the commercials. The painful truth is, none of those clothes are 18WP. It’s not my waist that’s the problem and I love being referred to as petite. The problem is my shoulders and neck. No amount of dieting and exercise is going to reduce the size of my shoulder bones. I just have to live with the fact that my shoulders are too big. I’m short with no butt, small hips and a real cute face. I’ll never be a Vegas showgirl, that’s for sure.
I thought this part would be so easy There are more things than those mentioned above. Pantyhose, leg shaving, electrolysis, eyebrow shaping, cowl-necked sweaters, scarves too short for a fat neck and so many other things I thought would be easy, but are proving to be harder then imagined. The question now is, would I stop all this nonsense and go back. Not just no, but hell no!