The Red Pill or the Blue Pill In the movie, The Matrix, Morpheus offers Neo two pills. The Blue Pill lets him go back to his former life, no wiser. Taking the Red Pill will show him the truth. This reminded me of conversations I’ve had with a few trans* people and most recently with a lady friend of mine. The question is, “If you could take a pill and you could eliminate forever your gender dysphoria, your desire to dress and present and blissfully be straight, would you take the pill?” I know it’s a fun, intellectual exercise, but it also goes much deeper into who we are, the circumstances bringing us to where we are at this time, what we must do to survive, adapt and grow and who we eventually become.
If only I knew what was coming I am sure if we were aware of the struggles, the heartache, the expense, the loss, the frustration and the dangers, we all might grab a handful of Blue Pills. Everyone of us who was ever bullied, abused, tormented, injured or killed might take the blue pill. Everyone who has been divorced, estranged, abandoned, thrown out or made homeless, might take the blue pill. Everyone who has seen tears run down the face of your spouse, partner or significant other might take the blue pill. Everyone who has ever attempted or succeeded in suicide or lived years with depression, might take the pill.
I’ve learned so much Over many years, what I and all of us have learned are lessons we would have missed and be poorer for it. We have learned just how strong and enduring we are. Whether you have come out or not, transitioned or not, still deep in the closet, you are overcoming something that is indescribable, if you are not one of us. You would have missed the unique position of seeing life from two different perspectives. We would have missed the kindnesses from unlikely sources, the joy of new adventures and discovering a new life.
The Red Pill of the Blue Pill Which pill would I take? That’s a question I’ve considered and so has just about every trans* person I’ve met. I believe most of us would take the Blue Pill. I’ve heard the following statements from almost everyone I come in contact with, “No one wants this! No one chooses to be trans*.” I’ve said it myself. However, Morpheus and I will not be sitting across from each other and I will not be offered The Red Pill or the Blue Pill. None of us will. So we continue to grow and live and become who we truly are and we get better and better every day.