She’s the father of two

She’s the father of two   Recently, I was reading The Huffington Post, one of my favorite places on the web.  Along with the name of the author of an article, there is a one-or-two sentence biographic statement.  I saw the above headline regarding the author of the story I was reading and stopped short.  What a wonderful addition to this woman’s bio.  Being a parent is one of the really important things in life, if not the most important.  Being Trans* will never negate being a mother or a father.  It made me hope to see more and more references like this in the future.

Me too   Immediately after reading She’s the father of two, I said, “Me too!”  I have a son and a daughter and I’ve never thought of myself any other way then being their dad.  Being their dad is amazing and I can’t think of anything I’m more proud of or that I’d rather be.  I love Ben and Rachel and I love being their dad.

What should I call you?   When I came out to my son and daughter, they both asked, “What should I call you?”  My response was, “Call me dad, or whatever you are comfortable calling me.”  Regardless of how I present, my gender expression or how I define myself, it does not change the facts.  I’m a father.

Hi, I’m Cate O’Malley, Ben’s dad   This should be a simple introduction.  I’ve used it and it does tend to make the uninitiated a bit uncomfortable.  It’s a statement of fact, not a way for me to poke fun nor do I say it to get a rise out of someone.  I’m Ben’s dad.  It’s a simple, truthful statement.

Times are changing   If I’m a transwoman and the father of two, then there are transmen who are mothers.  There are agender people who are fathers and mothers.  It’s an undisputable fact.  Until there’s a different word, the person providing the eggs is the mother and the person providing the sperm is the father.  Until those designations change, and it seems unlikely, then I’m a father, and damn proud of it.

2 thoughts on “She’s the father of two

  1. I am an older trans woman. I have been full time as a female for a couple of decades.
    my story is a little different than some. I did a lot of research about how to go about changing from male to female. I figured i could do it without the doctors and the
    drugs. i finally decided that for me the way to go was with herbals that i could buy off rhe shelf a walmart or the drugstore down the street..
    This i did and also found some facials that contained colligens and over a period of time i did change from male to female . If anyone is interested i have the periodical pictures to prove it

  2. Hello Cate,
    My name is Joanna. I am 63 and transitioned in 2003. I raised both my sons alone from the time the oldest was 5. They are both bow in their mid to late 30’s and are married with 4 children born since my transition. They both disowned me when they found out two weeks after I did by being told by someone unrelated to us. (That in its self is a story for another time) I can identify with so much of your blog and the only main difference is my broken but once strong relationship with them. I look forward to reading much more and thank you so much for your wonderful effort.
    Joanna (once known as “Glo Worm)

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