What I see in my mirror

Cate Kitchen
What I see in my mirror   During the past few weeks, we’ve all seen, read, heard and thought about Caitlyn Jenner.  To say her photos on the cover of and in Vanity Fair are spectacular would be an understatement.  I won’t be catty and talk about the $100K she’s reported to have spent on making her body look so good or the resources of Vanity Fair or the fact Annie Leibovitz could photograph a mud puddle and make it look like paradise.  If I was in the same position in life, I sure as heck would spend every cent too.  I also know and have seen evidence that Caitlyn’s efforts and exposure is helping bring awareness for all of us trans* people.  All that being said, I’m sure I am not the only transwoman in the world who has seen Ms. Jenner’s photos and taken a long, hard look in the mirror at the image staring back.
Late bloomer   Being a late bloomer and having begun my transition in my late 50’s, I missed being the sweet young thing with raven hair, ruby lips and a killer figure.   The Universe decided I would be witty and charming instead of rich and famous, so the unlimited funds to finance all the feminine changes possible will never be there.  So here I am on the south end of middle age, a few extra pounds, a modest supply of laugh lines, silver hair and lots of miles.  I’m making the best of what the good Lord gave me to work with.
Ego – Fragile!  Handle with care   Many of us, and my name is near the top of the list, have fragile egos.  I remember being told once, “You’ll never be pretty.”  That bothered me for days.  I was just spreading my wings and learning to put my look together and it was a shock to be told, after years of dreaming about it, I wouldn’t be a pretty woman.  I’ve since learned I am indeed beautiful and I love the way I look.  It took me a long time though and I won’t deny it.  My mirror and I are back on friendly terms.
Sneaking a peak in the mirror   So, did I take a long, hard look at myself in the mirror following the arrival of my issue of Vanity Fair?  Guilty!  Am I the only one in the world who would do such a thing?  Probably not.  Should I have been so vain or jealous?  Human nature, boys and girls.  I also admit I occasionally have to remind myself after walking about the University of Florida campus on a spring day, that I, too, am beautiful and sexy and just as interesting as any woman alive.
What I see in my mirror   When I’m starting my day, the few times I’m not running around like a crazy person because I’m late, or when getting dressed for an evening on the town, I always smile at my image in the mirror.  I still spin to see my skirt flair.  I never miss a chance to strike a coquettish pose and I do  love the way I look.  I work hard at it and I’m happy with the results.  Be gentle with yourselves, my friends, we’re all beautiful in our own way.

4 thoughts on “What I see in my mirror

  1. You made me smile with this. I do the twirl, too. And smiles are the BEST makeup. I’d window shop with you ANY day 🙂

  2. One benefit of being able to talk about this at your age is you know the word “coquettish.” Keep living the dream sweetheart!

    Jessica

  3. Oh how hard we work at perfecting our make up our look and of course how we talk and act. I so remember my younger days when dressing was easy, Going out in public did not bother me a bit. No body could tell i wasn’t a woman and if they did they sure did not show it. Ii still remember my days in Reno Nv where I pretty much stayed in Femme 24-7. Paid big money for a total make over like Caitlyn Jenner . Professional make over by a Mrs Leona who specialized in such things. The things I learned. . My congrats to all the gurls who have obtained their freedom’s .. And those special people who understand and assist in helping the caterpillar out of the pupa stage and into the beautiful butterfly that stands before the mirror.

  4. No matter who you are , we all struggle with being content with what we see in the mirror. I wish I was young again too, but at 67 I’m finally comfortable with the skin I’m in.

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